Surf's up, but yuppie insects like me shouldn't be surfing the break, right?

I made the choice (mistake?) of listing a bunch of goals for this year (see here), one of which was learning to surf. Well, I took the first step this week, booking in an early morning surfing lesson with the Maroochy Surf School. I also took on a detective job with the Australian Federal Police, going into an undercover role to try and infiltrate a local surf gang suspected of committing a series of robberies and heists whilst wearing masks of past Australia Prime Ministers. No? Not believable? I guess it was kind of obvious; I mean, who would bother making masks of past Australian Prime Ministers…

This is pretty much what I looked like. Except with less hair. And less rugged good looks. And less tanned.

Okay, so the surfing part is the only real parallel to Point Break (the original, still haven’t seen the remake). I headed down to Mooloolaba beach and while I didn’t see Keanu (and obviously not Swayze, sadly), I did see a turtle returning to the water after laying her eggs on the beach which was pretty cool! There was a crowd gathered around, as well as a camera crew, no doubt for the local news later that night. It was a pretty amazing and unexpected sight (given we are well into Summer), so not a bad way to kick things off!

It was also a spectacular day weather wise; the start of a two-day heatwave for South-east QLD but was early in the morning and not too hot. Plus, I’m not sure “too-hot” and “beach” go together anyway. I made sure to load up on sunscreen though – let’s face it, my skin is liable to crisp up like the chook at the local chicken shop even on an early Autumn morning, let alone a QLD summer in a heat wave. So sunscreen was mandatory.

I had opted for a group session and there were three of us in all; a father (maybe around 60, and also named Martin) and daughter (probably in her late teens or early 20s, whose name may or may not have been Lucy). The instructor seemed a little distracted at first and I soon realised why; the swell had lifted from 1-2 metres the day before to 3-4 metres that morning. Combined with a king tide that was pushing right up to the grassed sections of the dunes, the waves were bigger than ideal for beginners and dumping reasonably hard. Excellent.

Anyway, we got down to the beach eventually and our instructor started talking us through the safety side of things. It seemed to me like he was trying to drag things out a little; repeating himself and the like. And then he admitted that’s exactly what he was doing given the conditions were on the rough side. I suppressed an eye-roll and practiced my patience. I had visions of spending the whole hour and a half on the beach being made to do the scene from Point Break (and pretty much every surf movie ever made where there is a beginner), learning to jump up on the board while still on the sand. And when he immediately said we were going to practice standing, I started to get worried.

I totally nailed standing up on the board…while it was stationary and on the beach at least. Photo by Kampus Production from Pexels

Having got the knack of standing up reasonably well (I mean, when the board is on land and not moving, that’s pretty much all I was doing!), I was relieved when at last he announced we were heading out into the water. The boards were those huge 9ft soft boards for beginners that had all the maneuverability of a one-legged hippo. With the breaks coming down fairly large and dumping, we were limited to catching waves in the white-wash. Which was fine by me, given the waves were coming down fairly large and dumping! With the help of the instructor I was set up for the first wave, caught it, and managed to get up to my feet and ride it for a bit over a second before falling. Not a bad start; all that practice of standing up on the beach clearly paid off! I did a couple more of those with the instructor helping to steady the and get set for the wave, and was able to get to my feet each time, falling quite quickly on one, but then riding the board in almost to the sand on the next.

The instructor then left me to it, helping the other Martin and Might-Be-Lucy and leaving me to keep practicing on my own. I found this a little harder; catching the waves in the whitewash meant there was limited time in between each to jump on the board and get set. The lack-of maneuverability of the large boards also meant that I couldn’t get on the board facing the waves and then turn when I was ready before the next wave hit. So I found it difficult to get set in position; lying in the centre of the board, feet in the right spot near the end, the board pointing at the beach and remembering to paddle; all before the wave hit. Add to that, there was a fair sweep pushing to the North, so I found the cord around my right leg getting tangled around my left leg as I headed out to try and get in position.

Yeah, I pretty much nailed that too. Photo by Guy Kawasaki from Pexels

So between all those things there were a fair number of false starts and tumbles before even getting the opportunity to jump to my feet. But when I got those things right, I was able to get to my feet most times and ride the wave in for a little. Even when I didn’t manage it, there was not much to complain about; it was a beautiful day, the water was the perfect temperature and I was getting a decent workout without even really noticing!

The only actual photo of the day I remembered to take. Mooloolaba; beautiful!

Despite the delays at the start of the lesson, it still felt like we were out in the water for a long time. I thought we must have gone overtime but was surprised to see we were right on schedule when the instructor called the end of the session. Older Martin had managed to get to his feet a few times, while Might-Be-Lucy had struggled somewhat, nervous in the waves.

We headed ack at the Surf School trailer to grab our stuff, and I asked a few questions about suitable boards for a beginner to pick up. I then bumped into another Martin who had also just finished a surf lesson; not sure on the odds of that! I don’t meet too many other Martin’s, so for three of us to all front up for a surf lesson with the same surf school at the same time was a bit strange!

So anyway, that’s pretty much it. While I didn’t manage to bust any major crime syndicates, I did make a fair start on learning to surf. I’m not sure if I’ll go back for another lesson yet or see if I can buy or hire a board in the meantime and have a couple of gos on my own to practice. Either way, I’ll definitely get back out there. Vaya con dios!