Do the Good Ol’ Days really exist, or is it just a sign of my age?

Some would have us believe this was the daily walk to school in the Good Ol’ Days! I’m not quite convinced. Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA

It’s a cliché if ever one existed. The older person bemoaning modern trends and reminiscing of the Good Ol’ Days. From what I can gather, this sometimes entailed walking five miles barefoot through the snow to get to school. Not sure exactly how that makes them good; I guess a mark in the corner of toughness and resilience? It also would have freed the parents up from the horror of the modern school drop and the long lines that accompany it, so I guess that’s a pretty big plus! Though this may have been offset by the frostbitten toes, I’m thinking.

Sometimes the “Good Ol’ Days” entailed leaving the house in the morning and playing all day among the fields and streams and returning home at sunset. Or it might have been roaming the streets with the other local kids in the neighbourhood, playing street soccer, backyard cricket, or descending on the friend that had the pool and spending all day in the water. As opposed to spending a large chunk of the day in front of screens. That does sound pretty great.

Today, it’s possible that the Good Ol’ Days might be before the proliferation of screens; or pre the smart phone. As a parent of two teenage boys (and a six-year-old desperately wanting to match it with the teens), one of the challenges I encounter is managing all the screens. Something that didn’t need to be contended with in the Good Ol’ Days. Of course, my generation coped the same criticism; that our brains would rot for all the TV we watched. But back then there was often just a single TV in the household, maybe two, and for most with only five channels to choose from. In my house we got a computer when I was around eight or nine, but it had limited games, they were quite expensive to buy new ones, and we had to share it between the four of us.

This is clearly a staged shot. I mean, the screens are becoming pretty typical, but not sure the couch would be that clean and intact with three kids that age… Photo by Jessica Lewis Creative

That has certainly multiplied today; Multiple TVs with many more channels to choose from, streaming services to watch on demand, gaming consoles, laptops, tablets, and mobile phones. The latter two in this list making it incredibly easy to download and access a vast plethora of games and apps for free, eliminating the likelihood of simply getting bored and finding something else to do.

I’ve read books that recommend cutting kids off from all games and social media apps. They discuss how the games are increasingly designed to engage, entice and hook users so they keep coming back, doling out enough dopamine to keep the player engaged, but never really delivering on the Serotonin for them to feel they’ve reached their goal and have had enough. There’s an emerging body of thought around Social Media Apps having a significant and detrimental impact on the mental health of their users. And anecdotes like the one about how Steve Jobs didn’t even let his own kids have iPads.

Ahh, those were the Good l’ Days! When the kids waited patiently in the car while the parents played. Some mobile games bear a disturbingly striking resemblance and sound to pokies. Photo by Darya Sannikova

I month or so back, I found myself spending a fair bit of time on a game my boys had gotten into – Clash Royale. It is pretty fun, no doubt; well designed, simple enough to get started easily, but complex enough to keep you challenged. But everything about it is designed to draw you in. There are rewards that open daily, or on timers that keep you thinking about the game and wanting to login at multiple points through the day to claim them. Level advancement that keep you “growing” through the game. The games are short, with a countdown time limit which builds tension and gets the adrenalin pumping when the game is in the balance. A social option allows players to team up with, or play against, friends. The rewards-based point system keeps you striving to reach the next tier or level, but while you gain points for a win, you lose them when you lose, meaning you can take two steps forward but then three back, and so want to play another game to break even or get back in front. Not unlike the pokies, which is slightly disturbing.

It's tricky to negotiate. The games I played on computer as a kid were far less sophisticated. And there was the whole, having to share with my siblings, meaning I’d play for about 40 minutes, then have to find something to do for the next two hours until it came round to my turn again. So we had board games, jigsaw puzzles, lego, miniature games, guitars and a bunch of other things that seemed to involve a little more effort, and certainly more social interaction, creativity and/or skill development than what is offered on many of the devices today.

I think it all comes down to balance. I’m not sure I’m willing to ban devices completely as it would add to the potential for social isolation when my boys school friends are participating in games or socializing via certain apps leaving them on the outer. But there is certainly also the potential to waste significant amounts of time on devices at a time of life where the body and mind are still growing, developing and forming habits. And this is worrying, as it feels like the screens do not offer a whole lot of value in any of these departments. You may notice it has been a while since my last post. Clash Royale is not the only reason for this, but my choice to play it has certainly contributed.

So I think I could get a little bit better with putting in some additional time limits (that encompass all screen use). But I think it also needs to be a level of supporting and rewarding with other fun things. Getting out and about as a family whether it be to the beach, going to the park, heading out for hike, visiting family & friends etc. Team sports are also a good way to ensure screen free, active periods. So are sleepovers. Sure, they might also spend some of that time on screens, but I’ve found my boys will generally prefer getting outside and being active with friends rather than just sitting inside on screens. And reading books; I still enforce a half-hour reading wind down before bed-time, to ensure their bodies have time to relax before light’s out, and also to ensure books don’t get completely abandoned for screens.

If Mullets and sleeveless flannel constitutes the Good Ol’ Days (not to mention puffy shoulder pad dresses!), then we are certainly better off today. Though mullets are currently making a disturbing comeback on footy fields around Australia.

It's not easy and I certainly have some improvement to make in this department. And so it is tempting to lament the Good Ol’ Days, and think how easy it would be to try and manage one screen instead of many. But the reality is that things have changed and are not likely to go back, so wishing it won’t help. It’s also true that parenting has no doubt been challenging through the ages, and that teaching kids about discipline and balance is going to be hard regardless of how many screens they have access to.

So do the Good Ol’ Days really exist? Yes and No. Change is inevitable and can be difficult and uncomfortable. So while I might choose to joke now and then about “the Good Ol’ Days”, I will remain aware that while I might feel I’m contending with some challenges that did not have to be contended with by parents in the past, I’ll also be happy I’m not contending with the challenges of World Wars, high infant mortality rates or managing illness without the benefits of vaccines and paracetamol. Oh, and I’ll also be thankful that we don’t have to contend with 80’s fashion and music again. I mean, on that count, once was definitely enough!