Sad songs say so much, but what exactly are they saying?
I was reflecting on my playlists recently with a close friend and it became quickly apparent that of my hundred or so absolute favourite songs, at least 90% of them are sad. Possibly closer to 95%; I actually started looking through the playlist to try and find the more upbeat songs, but gave up counting when I checked the lyrics of some of the few I had pegged as upbeat only to have to strike them from the list!
This keyboard is being infused with “sadness” by the sprig of dead flowers. Many sad songs will be composed on its keys when the infusion process is complete. Photo by Elina Sazonova from Pexels
I should preface how I arrived at this playlist; a little while back I ripped all my cds onto a hard drive; about 4,500 songs in total. From there I created a list of about 1100 songs that I really like and loaded onto my phone. This is the list I’d normally listen to (assuming I’m not listening to the radio, streaming via the LiSTNR app or listening to a podcast). Within that list, I have created a playlist of about 100 songs that I really love. It is this list that the songs overwhelming lead towards the “sad” category.
Most of you will be familiar with the line from Elton John’s Sad Songs (Say so Much), well, that “sad songs say so much”. I started wondering if this was in fact true? And if they do say so much, what exactly are they saying? And given the overwhelming weight of my favourite songs being sad, what are they saying about me? It was a rather large rabbit hole to hop down I’ll admit. But given I don’t list opium or any other mind-altering drug in my list of vices, I felt reasonably comfortable I wouldn’t run into any queen’s, hats or cheshire cats!
For the most part, I feel I am generally a quite upbeat and positive person (post away if you disagree!). If you have read Salvage I guess you might get an alternate impression to this, as it does paint a somewhat bleak picture of the future! However, Salvage is not an attempt by me to be the next Nostradamus and predict the fiery end to the world. It was actually born out of my desire to do something positive and proactive to help influence people to think about the future and what the decisions we make now might lead to down the track. And of course, to write an entertaining story that readers could enjoy regardless of their thoughts on the environmental or political outlook of the Australia and the world at large!
Anyway, back to those sad songs and what, if anything, they say about me. I started to wonder if I was missing something about myself? While I feel reasonably happy and content most of the time, does my leaning towards sad songs suggest this is just a shiny exterior under which something broken and forlorn is hidden? Is this true of anyone that particularly connects with sad songs?
Men might seem as emotionally devoid as robots sometimes. But even robots can get their hearts broken, like this cute little guy! Photo by burak kostak from Pexels
I don’t think so. I think that for me, sad songs just present an opportunity to spend some time with what are often considered “unpleasant” emotions. I think, like lots of Australian guys, it’s not something that I do a whole lot of with my mates. Don’t get me wrong; I have good friends who I could chat to about the hard, tough things in my life, and I do from time to time. But it’s not something we necessarily prioritise; leaning instead towards catching up and doing fun stuff together. Laughing, joking, lifting each other up through good company.
But I, like all guys, can and do feel the whole gambit of human emotions. We feel grief from loss, our hearts ache when those we lose loved ones, we can feel jealous, hurt, lonely, vulnerable. We might process these emotions in different ways to women, and there are some that have not learned to do so in a healthy way, but this difference is sometimes mistaken for not having emotions, or for being heartless, which of course is not the case.
Rather than suppress these unpleasant emotions, sad songs provide the opportunity to spend time with them. To help process those hurts in a safe space, with the knowledge of shared experience. I mean, the song-writer has clearly felt a similar way at some stage of their life to have composed the song in the first place. They are full of heart, full of emotion, full of understanding and empathy, and that is what makes them beautiful for me. They are also short; most songs only go for 3-4 minutes, so they offer a means to spend some time in that space, but not necessarily linger there for too long.
So was Elton right when he said that sad songs say so much? I mean, “so much” might be a bit of an exaggeration. They seem to be relatively quiet on the topic of astrophysics for example. And they tend to hold out on even basic information like how to perfectly boil an egg, or how to get that stubborn stain out of your favourite shirt. Even on the relationship front, they may provide some insight into things that happen, but are not about to offer sage advice on how to move past these challenges and feelings.
But for me, they do say: you’re gonna feel pain and hurt from time to time, and that’s okay. And when I do feel that way they say, we’ve got your back, along with the people that wrote us and all the other fans who listen to us. We know how you’re feeling. They say, spend a bit of time with us, and then go get back to your life and move past those feelings. And they farewell me with, go be happy again. We’ll be here next time you need us. Because ironically, sad songs help me get back to feeling happy and content, rather than hold me down in a negative or depressive state.
Even really, really, really, ridiculously good looking male models get sad sometimes. Photo by Lamar Belina from Pexels
So while “so much” might be a bit of an exaggeration, sad songs do say a fair bit. I’m sure that’s what Elton meant. But “sad songs say a moderate amount on a limited range of subjects” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, so we can forgive an exaggeration or two. Artistic license and all that.
I should also clarify that I certainly don’t like all sad songs! Harry Nilsson’s Without You is probably a good example of one I’m not a fan of. Needless to say, the Mariah Carey version didn’t do anything to change this feeling. No judgement; it just didn’t make the cut for me! But songs like Good Lord (Birds of Tokyo), What You Want (John Butler Trio) or Silence (Marshmellow feat Khalid) on the other hand take me there every time. So turn ‘em on!
What are your go to sad songs?